Redneck
Culture Rednecks are true Americans. They built America with their bare hands. They go to church daily (because Jesus loves America more than the rest of the world). They are also discriminated against by city slickers, liberals, grouchy history teachers, and Non-Americans. (See: foreigners). The Rednecks are also direct descendants of God ever since Jehovah Redneck came to their holy land Arkansas and gave birth to them himself since He's so great He doesn't need a woman to make children. The Rednecks have also been greatly oppressed in this country. They are hated by the liberals, atheists, and all other America Haters. How The Rednecks Have Suffered Their oppressions are numerous but include: * Forced from their home land and forced to live on reservations. What else could those trailer parks be? * Unequal Education. Arkansas has the lowest literacy rate in America. *Forced Labor. You've all heard about Rednecks making moonshine, well that's not all they make. Their evil liberal and environmentalist overlords force them to produce beer, wine, champagne, and other forms of alcohol that regular Americans enjoy for such cheap prices. And do the rednecks benefit at all from this profit? Well NO!!!, all the money is unfairly taken away from them and used to fund the Democratic Party. * Satanic Publicity. America is being forced to listen to unfunny comedians like Jeff Foxworthy who only spew rubbish and hatred towards the red man and also claim to be rednecks but really aren't and are really only taking advantage of and misrepresenting these innocent people only for their own monetary gain. *Stereotypation. There's way to many stereotypes of rednecks going around about them being stupid and inbreeding, which are absolutely not true. Rednecks are really a proud and special race, chosen by God to be his chosen people. *Destruction of Their Holy Temple. Long ago the Redneck king Floyd (Under the command of God) built a mighty and beautiful temple to serve as the center of religious activity for the redneck nation. All the rednecks loved and cherished their temple and would all gather together to worship God at this holy place, but later the Holy Temple was burned down by evil liberals and the red nation was devastated by the loss of their most holy relic. Many rednecks want to rebuild their temple but they can't because the Dome Of The Clinton now stands where their holy temple once stood. In order to rebuild they'd have to tear down the Dome, but doing so would create a massive war between them and the liberals. In the mean time, rednecks instead go to the Razorback Football Stadium to conduct their holy worship, and it will remain this way until their Holy Temple is rebuilt or the Razorback Stadium is also destroyed by the God-Hating liberals. *The Illegal Sex Trade. Now lets face it, redneck women are just plain hot. And any man who sees one instantly wants to screw one. That's why all those sick, twisted UN Perverts keep coming to Arkansas raiding their villages and stealing their women and children. After kidnapping them, the UN sickos then use the captured redneck women and children to fulfill their every wish and desire that they can think of. (Aint they sick) Then once they get tired of them and find new redneck women and children to terrorize, they then ship them south of the border to Mexico where the poor rednecks get their lives controlled and dictated by the evil Mexican Pimps and Druglords. But don't worry, for it is prophesied in the Bible that a new redneck named Billy-Bob-Moses and his trusty dog Old Yeller will one day rise up against Pimps and Druglords and lead his people to freedom. He will have a magical wooden stick given to him by God when God came to him in a burning marijuana bush and the stick will be able to turn into a Dodge Viper, and with the stick Billy-Bob-Moses will be able to do many miracles to rescue his people, including dividing the waters of the Gulf of Mexico so that the rednecks can walk across safely over to America and escape from the evil Mexican Druglord's armies. Contributions Rednecks Have Made To Society The Truth is that Rednecks are truly intellegent and special people. (God purposely made them that way) Without them we wouldn't be able to live the great lifestyle that we do today. Their contributions are enormous and as numerous as the stars themselves but their most important ones are: # Firearms. Now thats important to all rednecks, they need them to protect themselves because you never know when a stupid liberal, grouchy history teacher, or a UN pervert might come around. # Nascar. But not just Nascar itself, but the entire automobile industry can associated with the Rednecks #George W. Bush. #The True English Language. Not to be confused American English or Brittish English, this is the original English which is now only spoken in the South How to Spot a Redneck * Owns a four-wheel drive pickup. * Only drinks Busch or Bud Light. * Has more cars in his front yard that don't run than cars that do run. * Has a gun rack and/or Rebel Flag in the back of his truck. * Knows every word to "Folsom Prison Blues" * Has a Mullet * Doesn't know the rules of grammar or punctuation. External Links * The Great Library of Alexandria